For us, who are part of a materialistic and market oriented culture, sharing something is a huge challenge. But if we really want to love, we need to be prepared to reach out and support others with time, resources and money, etc., as well as be prepared to share and be helped when we need it in exchange.
This modern world of love is not one we hide behind the high walls or in cocooned blocks of apartments. Where we are afraid for life or for personal safety. Where we selfishly think and act accordingly-where darkness conceals light.
This is a world in which both concrete and metaphorical walls come out into the sun from behind. It is here that ignorance, selfishness and covetousness linger. This is where there is true love, and where each person is treated with dignity and lovingly encouraged to be their true self!
Loving one another as we deserve to be loved will set us free to be truly ourselves. Forgiving, showing compassion and empathy, seeing the best in others, allowing each person to be totally him / herself, is what true love makes possible. The exception may be for those who have not, sadly, encountered true love and/or cannot share true love with others.
Here are ideas on how to improve the relationship.
Resentment, rage and blame are natural responses when something hurtful happens to your loved one. However, little hurts as well as betrayals will break apart a relationship without forgiving.
Many people who don’t forgive have issues with keeping positive feelings about their families. Yet couples working toward reconciliation are better able to preserve their bond when they make a deliberate effort not to dwell on their partner’s mistakes.
Any long-term partnership will have its share of deceptions. But learning to look past a single bad patch and look critically and lovingly at your partner will pull you through.
Remembering and nourishing memories of the good times that you have shared together will help you get through frustration and those moments when you wonder if you want to stay in the relationship.
The way you both say hello or good bye, or the way you celebrate anniversaries or birthdays year after year will help create a deep bond that can keep you emotionally engaged during times of tension.
Taking the time, for example, to hug your partner before you leave for work every morning no matter how frustrated or late you are shows him or her that your relationship is a high priority in the grand scheme of things.
Jumping in and interrupting while your partner is trying to tell you something might frustrate or discourage him or her. Listening to more than you are talking is important when you’re having a serious conversation.
Secrets and lies undermine the basis of every relation. Ignoring issues (another way to keep secrets) doesn’t make them go away. What’s essential is polite, accessible contact about your sensations and dreams.